This morning I sat down at my computer a little later than normal. Sometimes I dread Monday mornings because I know I have an entire weekend of computer catch-up; not that it’s all a bad thing I actually enjoy the reminder that the weekend was family time, free time away from the contraption. But I digress. The point is that this morning I found myself a little reflective on the whole process. I updated my Facebook status with a line about how it could already be Monday again which summed up pretty simply how I was feeling.
I caught up on a few news headlines, friends and family updates and my inbox just in time for lunch. Now I’m sitting back here contemplating the same feeling about the way time slips through fingers like sand, how you can’t contain it. I found myself trying to pinpoint thoughts to record today and ended up wondering what I’d written in the past. I went to the first November when I began blogging and this entry struck me like a gong; it described exactly what I needed to hear today. THIS is the reason and wisdom to me in recording your thoughts, you never know what you can learn from yourself if you take the time to record those thoughts and experiences. Today I am the beneficiary of my own advice three years ago:
So here’s today’s tip: Such control is an illusion.
There is no such thing as staying on top of it all. First of all, the “all” changes constantly, especially during the holidays. Nothing will ever be done forever. Sure, we may get a few projects finished and we may even have moments when we feel a breath of relief over how quiet the moment is with multiple things caught up…but they are just that, moments. Because the ball is always turning, and we’re not super heroes (darn!), that can stay in one place on the moving sphere all the time, we will find ourselves in various positions of the moving beast. Some days I’m on top, other days I’m being chased in front, still others I find myself being flattened underneath and a few choice days I’m on the backside rolling with the momentum in harmony. Of course, then I realize I’m just getting ready to go through a few more positions again! LOL The beauty of this realization is that balance can be achieved simply by recognizing it.
I’m actually writing this for me because here I sit, kicking myself for being four families behind on business cards for our adoption website, thinking about getting those Christmas cards started, wishing I’d hopped in the shower FIRST thing this morning,….oh and bills, I was suppose to remember bills last week???
So I take a deep breath. I write down the things I know to be true, and a short list of things that, if I don’t get done today, will make me feel squashed under the ball tomorrow. I look around and give myself credit for the things that are done, and I pause for a just a moment longer while looking at that pretty Christmas Tree in the living room. It reminds me to slow down and enjoy the process of creating the beauty. I always get caught up in the finish line and consequently I can put insane expectations on myself and find myself missing the enjoyment of doing something for the goal of having it done.
And this alone makes me slow down and reflect on what’s been done. My breathing slows, my anxiety disappears and I smile remembering the fun holiday time I’ve already spent with family – a beautiful Thanksgiving, night time Christmas light displays, putting up some decorations and going to a movie together. I begin to look forward to some other fun things like decorating Gingerbread houses with my kids and watching old Christmas Cartoons together. December will quickly fill up with extra events, parties, programs, etc. If I find myself feeling like I’m running just to check something off the list, then it’s time for me to reduce the list.
So put on some Christmas tunes while you decorate. Listen to them while you blog (when your TV isn’t set to Tom & Jerry or some other great kid show that is), drink in the beauty of the season. And if you need an extra nudge here’s one: Today is only the 28th of November, it’s not even December yet!! *wink* Ahhhhh, that’s a beautiful thing!